Following more internal strife within Stumpf’s tilting and tottering tower, it’s imminent collapse seemed inevitable. Everyone on the planet that might be involved or affected all tried to protect their own best interests. Perhaps, whatever gods there be would grant a destiny that would be more protective than destructive. With any karma or Zen available at all, the ultimate outcome will be a loud implosion rather than a world-shaking explosion.
When the inevitable began and White Nationalist protesters clashed with counter-protesters in the UDASS officials declared a national emergency.
As the demonstrators, made up of Right Wing extremists and National Socialist sympathizers, showed up to protest the planned removal of a statue of a Civil War Confederate General, they were carrying flags, banners, rifles and night sticks resembling what the Stumfers had used to intimidate counter-protesters in the past. The disorganized and shapeless group was armed for bear as they moved into the Park where the statue still stood. The Park had been named for the General but was recently renamed “Basic Brothers in the Hood” or more commonly, just “BasicBro Park.”
The protesters and their opponents clashed again and again in what turned out to be a violent and destructive street war. This all took the place of the formal rally that had been scheduled. Reports from the scene suggested that the protesters used tear gas on counter-protesters and members of both sides threw water bottles as the conflict moved closer to the site of the statue.
Counter-protest groups carried signs indicating their support of the removal of the statue, which they saw as a validation of a pro-slavery White National Supremacy and neo-Nazi political point of view. In direct opposition to this many of the original protesters were prepared for the battle going in. Many were wearing combat gear and carrying firearms. One local news source reported that protesters swung wooden clubs as they rammed through a line of counter-protesters.
Local police initially did not attempt to break up the violent clashes, but due to the intensity of the conflict decided the event was an unlawful assembly. They ordered everyone to disperse or risk arrest.
Meanwhile on the International scene, Stumpf’s failing attempt at diplomacy was being challenged by Dum Dong UnPak, erstwhile leader and frequent contributor to the North Korean Press. He had eschatologically responded to warnings from Stumpf about saber-rattling threats and missile boasting. Speaking through his broadcast press corps, UnPak responded with (translation provided) “That Orange Head Devil, Stumpf, needs to stop with all that abbreviated twittering bullshit”.
“If Stumpf doesn’t want the UDASS to meet its final solution, he had better talk nice and act accordingly.” UDASS has done all sorts of bad stuff to North Korea, while essentially ignoring its existence and now it is in an even worse spot. It’s not funny anymore and the piper must be paid. This is a burlesque show without a happy ending.”
Several days earlier, North Korea had said it was “looking at” a plan to launch an ICBM strike near a UDASS airbase on an atoll in the South China Sea.
“Let’s see what Dum Dong UnPak does with the base,” Stumpf said this week. “If he does something there, an event the likes of which nobody’s ever seen before will happen in North Korea.”
Stumpf also tweeted, “Military solutions are now already loaded and ready to roll and rock if UnPak does anything stupid. I hope he won’t. ”
The statement came along with a report from North Korea that said a whole bunch of their citizens were ready to join the fray in any capacity needed in order to guarantee success. Since North Korea is noted for its strict isolation policies and warnings to its citizens that the UDASS and its sanctions are a great threat to their future, the immediate outcome is still in question.
Que Sera, Sera