An attempt at allegory


To begin a story without knowing the end is foolish, but then that is the work of fools. Fools have always had the job of advising people in entertaining and educational ways. When laughter and applause ends, bows or abuse is taken and only insight and understanding is left, sometimes it’s too late.

While a reason is never an excuse for culpability, rational thinking can provide an explanation and understanding without blame and an expectation for vengeful consequences.

Bearing that in mind, the following tale is a fiction offered as a parody of an allegorical parable populated by people, not plants or animals. Any connection to persons, places or situations is purely coincidental. Since no end is in sight, each reader is offered the opportunity to write the end of the story.

Here are the facts of the allegorical parable, reach you own conclusion


Stumpf for President


Fact 1 – Off the cuff historical fiction remarks

In 2001, just three weeks after the suicide of his aging father, who had run a very successful hotel brothel in rural Alaska during the Oil Rush of 1966, Edgar K. Stumpf met Abu Ben Sodom, the 56-year-old President of the United District of American Sovereign States, for the first time. Stumpf had pulled himself out of the manic depression he fell into after the death of his father.

Twice before he had sunk into despair, only to emerge stronger – 2001, lying in a hospital, blinded by a CBR attack in Iraq and after hearing news of the UDASS defeat ending the first Oil War – and in 2006, in prison after the failed Second Oil War in Afghanistan. In October 2012, the former UDASS Private was presented to the former President.

Stumpf was a bit unnerved by the color and ethnic origin of the President and shouted incoherently trying to impress him. Ben Sodom was perplexed and later said Stumpf might be suited for Latrine Duty, but never for a high position.


Fact 2 – excerpted from the collected writings of Saul BenJamin, Independent Cultural Historian

January of 2015 marked the beginning of the political intrigue that aimed to destroy the republic and make Edgar Stumpf, President of the UDASS. Constant squabbling among the various political factions had resulted in ineffective government. Adding to the problem, there were now a very large number of elected Whigs, in name only, in the House and the Senate. Under the leadership of Nate Nogo and Quentin Queeg, they regularly disrupted proceedings with controlling behavior to help undermine due process in the Legislature.

Their poorly disguised plan seemed to be aimed at forming an undefeatable power block by combining the legislative and executive branches of the still developing experiment in democracy. By enabling Stumpf’s ambition, the plan would include having the Executive’s powers of appointment overload cabinet and the judicial branch with fellow followers. This would complete the juggernaut of rule and total control over the masses of ignorant sycophants who believed Stumpf’s promise of sharing in the spoils.

The people were desperate for relief from the personal suffering brought on by the ongoing struggle for power. Many were out of work or under-employed, small businesses and homeowners were struggling for survival while huge banking conglomerates had been busy capitalizing on the confusion by using their unregulated predatory lending practices. Homelessness and starvation were real possibilities for even the so-called middleclass.

The republic now faced another problem. In 2016 there was supposed to be a presidential election. But Ben Sodom, who had by sheer intellect and will power, been holding the republic together, was getting ready to leave office at the expiration of his elected term. He was not allowed to run again due to congressional amended term limitations. With Stumpf looming in the background, if he didn’t complete the entire term, as suggested by some as a suitable alternative, then Stumpf would have his chance even sooner.

Early in 2015, Edgar Stumpf received an e-mail from some party leaders inviting him to discuss the possibility of entering the race for office. Stumpf was more than happy to respond to the invitation.

“Now I’ve got them! They have recognized me as a partner in their plans!” Stumpf told Tony Ticer, his public relations specialist, soon to become the White House Press Advisor. Stumpf went to the meeting and listened to the proposal, but gave no response. There was no reason to help the lame duck president and keep the republic alive.

Civilization itself was unraveling in a large number of the major metropolitan centers including the nation’s capital.

In March 2015, Stumpf eagerly agreed to run and announced his candidacy.

“Make us great again,” was the slogan used by Stumpf to great effect during the campaign against the troubled and divided party of intelligent, well-intentioned opposition. In ever growing numbers many undecided voters turned to Edgar Stumpf and his promises of making the UDASS great again.

Tony Ticer waged a furious propaganda campaign on behalf of Stumpf. Whig posters were plastered everywhere. There was a whirlwind schedule of speeches for Stumpf and Ticer. The GO Party held thousands of rallies each day all across the country. They gave out millions of pamphlets and extra copies of newspapers sympathetic to their cause. Using new media technology, making audio/video recordings and films they distributed Stumpf’s mythological sermons to the masses. The campaign was also an opportunity to win support and extend his influence.

Many in the UDASS began to see Stumpf as the wave of the future. After the marginal success of the 2016 election a few new members poured into the Party. Now, in the spring of 2017, with six million unemployed, chaos and political confusion in the Capital, starvation and ruin, the threat of returning Marxism, and a very uncertain future – they turned to Stumpf by the hundreds.

International media attention and opinion began to refer to what had been called the UDASS, leader of the free world as “You Dumb Asses”.



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