The Hat

The Hat

Loosely translated from the original Dutch

Sammy, a Jewish boy goes with his Catholic friend to Mass at the Roman Catholic Church. When he comes home his father asks, “Well, how did it go?”

Sammy says, “ Unbelievable, Dad. What a show! I come inside, every seat is sold out, not one open space, but in the front there is a theater with a dresser bar with a candle on it. Behind it is a big choir with an orchestra. Can you imagine that, Dad? Now the show begins. In comes this uncle robed in white with a red dress over it and there’s six small young boys running after him and one of them takes his hat. And it’s gone, no more hat. Now the uncle has a bald head so he gets very, very cold and he’s on his knees looking for his hat.

Left, right, asking every boy, “ Did you see my hat? ”

But nobody said a word and they just look at him. So now they’re just sitting there staring at the uncle who goes to the dresser looking for the hat. But still he can’t find it So he takes a couple of candles and lights them so he can see better. Still nothing. He goes back to the dresser and finds a very large telephone book. It’s very heavy and the uncle is going to go in there to look for an address where he could buy a new hat again. No address so he turned around and he looked at all the people and said, “ Has anybody seen my hat? “ And with his arms raised, he’s wailing to the ceiling about his hat. All the people answer him back but nobody has seen it. So in the meantime one of the young boys slyly takes the telephone book and puts it on the other side of the dresser. Then the uncle with an astonished look takes off the red dress. In his white dress he looks in the closet where it hangs next to the choir. He stands there for a long time just talking, talking, talking . He was getting very nervous and very angry and he takes a toilet brush puts it in a bucket of water and throws water at everybody right in front of him. But it still didn’t help. So the uncle goes back to the stage. He gives four of those people that are standing there a stick with a little black sock on it and they go around to all the other people in front of them and ask for money. All those people get some money together to put in the socks for a new hat. They went to every row and every person and even I put a couple cents in. Then the uncle got the people to be so crazy they kneel down and laid on the floor and looked and looked and looked for a long time. But nobody found the hat.

Then when they all gathered everything together, the whole play was over and all of a sudden, guess what?

The uncle found his hat and walked off with it.

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